The day where life that was, isn’t and that wasn’t now is

In 24 hours I’ve witnessed life entering this world and I’ve witnessed it exit. In one day, I delivered a baby for the first time on my own. And for the first time also, I was present as the body of a person who wasn’t sick failed on our watch, suddenly and without warning–a mother

My doctor’s love is important to me, but he does not know.

“My doctor’s love is as important to me as his chemotherapy, but he does not know.” I read this sentence and tears roll down my cheeks. I am alone on a hilltop somewhere without a name in New Zealand and the sun is out and everything is idyllic but I am weeping. This sentence hits